Monologue

Where is it?? Let me check at the top – Not there, maybe it’s at the bottom – not there, then sideways maybe – Shit, not even there… Where the hell is it? I already checked the front and the back, not there as well. Where did it go? It has to be here. Alright alright, no need to panic, concentrate and search harder this time. Step by step – Left, right, top, bottom, back, front – huh!! Not there. What the hell, how can it NOT be there?? It has to be there, it just cannot disappear like this when I need it. It was certainly there when I saw this thing last time. Now… wait a while!! Was it actually there when I saw this thing last time or I just assumed it to be there? I guess I always assumed it to be there and thought that I could comfortably use it whenever I needed to. And here I am, I need it today and it’s not there. Damn me… Now what??

No no friend, hold your horses. I’m not giving up in this game. I shall put up a fight as I always do.

Alright alright, no need to panic; I know what I need to do now… I need to search for the other one, exactly opposite to this one. Yes, that should do it. Perfect, now concentrate and search again – Step by step - Left, right, top, bottom, back, front – Not there… What the F**k. How’s this possible? Even the other one is not there… Don’t tell me that this thing is made without either one of the two. This bloody remote control of life does not have the two most crucial keys – rewind and forward. Then how am I supposed to go back and correct my mistakes?? Forget that, how am I supposed to go ahead and check if I come out of this successfully?? What?????? Don’t tell me that you expect me to play this game without these options. Hello – Are you crazy?? This is too crucial a game to be played without the Rewind and Forward keys. Ah… Why didn’t you tell it to me in the beginning then, I could have been more careful? This thing sucks. Why did you give me the remote then? What purpose does it serve? Oh I see – I do see it now. This bloody thing has only one option that of quitting isn’t it? Yeah, that explains the sole dirty RED button. So, what’s in it for me if I quit?? Wow great! Nothing in it for me; apart from the relief that it’s over, right?? Is this some kind of a joke??

TICK TICK TICK

What's the sound?? Don’t just stand there and laugh, tell me what's the sound?? Is time running away?? Is that what you are telling me that time isn't even stopping for this conversation?? It's just running away, is it??

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Fine, doesn't look like i have many options left. If quitting is what will take me out of this – quitting is what I shall do!! You can take pride in your well deserved victory.

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I hope I can at least sit down and have a word with you before pressing the RED key, O Mighty Winner. Surely, you won’t mind that. Now c'mon you've already won, you've beaten me black and blue. What harm can a small chat do??

Thanks...

This certainly isn't your first win, is it??

So, i guessed it right.

Can i ask you something - is it true when they say - "Time heals everything"??

You won't answer that one, will you??

Ok! Up to you - you can selectively answer my kiddish questions.

Is it true that – We tend to remember only the good things of the past? And that is the reason why we feel nostalgic. I mean, I may not have been happy in the past and would have craved for it to end but today when I think of it, only the good memories come back and that's why, I feel nostalgic. Is this true??

My mom taught me to forgive others for their mistakes; doesn’t it mean that I’m entitled to forgive myself as well, for my own mistakes??

On a second thought, is there any such thing as mistake?? Aren’t mistakes the same actions that we once thought were right and hence committed them??

I had this professor in my college, taught us Electrical Technology, a man of principals I must tell you. Was pretty strict and always to the point, an absolutely no-nonsense kind of a person. We all hated him just after few lectures at the start of the term and every time he entered the class-room it would turn into a fish market. There would be chaos all around and shouting and screaming going on. We would do it to register our protest against him. Initially we screamed for complete 50 minutes, the whole duration of the class, and never allowed him to speak a word. As time passed by, the duration of our screaming also came down, some got tired, some bored while some felt pity towards him. But all this never seemed to bother him. He would wait for us to settle down and then would go on with his stuff as if nothing ever happened. Then came a day when he entered the class and the class was in complete silence, no one protested on that day; the first words coming out of his mouth were “I’m missing it”.

Still, none of us spoke.

He then turned to the black board – and wrote

“IF YOU CANNOT AVOID IT, ENJOY IT!!”

Turning back to us, he then said “Can you do it again, for me this time??” We all screamed at the top of our voices. Once we were done he said “I hope we won’t need it again in this class room”.

Believe me that was the only class which I missed in the next term.

Is that what I should do with my pains, sufferings and all other things which I cannot avoid?? Just plainly enjoy it and when the moment of freedom comes, celebrate it!!

I once read somewhere – “After crossing the river, the raft becomes a hindrance if still carried.” Isn’t the same true about bad memories from the past?? Those memories are indeed strong just like all evil things under this sun but carrying them beyond a certain point is unnatural, unacceptable and impossible.

TICK TICK TICK…

Stop it!! That doesn’t scare me anymore. Hahahahahaha

Don’t you get it dude?? Time works in my favour. It’s MY weapon and not yours.

And that must be exactly the reason why this thing neither has a Forward key nor a Rewind one because this remote is your weapon and not mine. Here, take it.

COOL… I’m getting the rules now… They all make sense… Yeah, they do…

What??? Quitting??? Naah – I’m not quitting. I’ve had a change of hearts J

Well, maybe I said so earlier but now I don’t feel like quitting.

I always tell everyone that I’m a good liar but they feel I’m lying when I say this. J You’re just one more of them. Hahahahaha

Forget quitting, I just made my move; it’s your turn now.

TICK TICK TICK…