Saturday, February 21, 2009
An Indian seer who figures in epic Mahabharata, Charvaka, exhorted the people to borrow, spend and live happily, and not bother about how to repay the debt and not feel guilty if unable to pay it back. Even though he commended this thousands of years ago, the people of his country continue to disregard his prescriptions till today. But the US economists seem to have patented Charvaka's economic theory as theirs. The latest effect of this theory in practice was the sub-prime crisis and losses. The only difference is that the American version is definitely an improvement over Charvaka's economics, as it made the borrowers feel that their borrowing and spending was not for themselves, but for America!
They say that the first few lines of Mahabharata go, "All that you find in here could be found elsewhere, but all that you dont find in here will not be found anywhere." Vyasa really knew what he was creating, you've to give him that; what with the Charvaka theory coming in handy, thousands of years later, while trying to understand the roots of Sub prime crisis.
Nope, I'm not here to praise Mahabharata nor am I here to analyze the recession. But at the same time I just cannot ignore it and imagine that it never happened. It's not affecting me yet (touchwood), atleast not in the way you would expect it to. I do see some changes though. For instance, finding a place in the toilet of my overcrowded 5th floor has become a lot easier post the retrenchment. Back in India, I was telling my ajji (granny) that I work on the 5th floor, she was visibly disappointed to hear that and murmured that having gone so far till Singapore, I should be working on higher floors as it was easily possible for me to work on 5th floor even in India. This is the same ajji, who during her visit to my first company Deloitte consulting, in the posh suburbs of Hiranandani, after having taken a tour of the whole workplace had innocently asked me, "Parts kuthe bantaat?" (Where are the parts made?). Bechari just couldn't believe me when I told her that the company does not produce any parts and was into an IT consulting business. The amused expression on her face was more evident when she learnt that all the salary that I get, was only for "TYPING" into a computer.
1 month back -
I wrote the post till this point and the news of Ramalinga Raju's admitting of fraud has just crashed in, add to this the fact that my client has decided to scrap the project and I would be
bundled back to India. The future of thousands of Satyamites like me looks very bleak. I cursed the line "It's not affecting me yet (touchwood)", then i cursed myself for not having touched any wood after writing it, finally i cursed my destiny for all this turn of events and have decided to scrap this post all together, taking it as a bad omen.
3 weeks back -
The feeling has sunk in and with the client discussing the possibility of extending the project, the hope is back.
Today at the bus stop, a gujju couple kept staring at me and my i-card, then they started discussing satyam issue in Gujrati. Admitted that with my curly hairs, wheatish complexion (*citation needed) and the silly expression on my face, i do look south indian at times; but having stayed in mumbai and pune for most part of my life, i do understand Gujarati. The male gujju was telling female gujju that somebody should save Satyam, lest 50,000 people will come out and take away the bread and butter of other innocent (!!) people. So now we Satyamites are villains for the rest of the innocent society, eh?
I just walk away to the Indian cafe nearby, suppressing the urge to debate. The waiter gives me (and my i-card) a long hard stare, he probably weighs the option of asking me to show the money before placing an order, then thinks against it and gets me my regular order. One of the two guys sitting on the table across me approaches me and asks "Yaar, ab aapki company mein recruitment band hogi na?". My reply, "Bhai salary band hone ka time aa gaya, aap recruitment ko lekar baithe ho!". Somehow, he thought it was a joke and went back laughing.
2 weeks back -
I had fun today at a friend's send off party. With destiny playing so many pranks on me, i have stopped playing pranks on people but today was an exception. There was this cute waitress who came at the table to take our orders. I wanted some food and she kept saying that the kitchen is closed but the bar is open. I kept on insisting that I don't consume liquor but do consume food from time to time and was feeling very hungry right now. She was convinced at the end but it did take some time. Andy, who was out for a cigarette that time, saw us talking from the glass door and on coming back, asked me "What was it all about?". I tried giving him the real version that I was ordering for food but he said, "Why did it take sooo long??"
My reply, "Oh that! She was asking me if i had any plans for tonight" - he believed this version, infact fell in love with it.
"So what did you say"
"I said yes, i am gonna go home and sleep"
"You are a sick bastard man, you should have asked her out"
"Why dont you take that honour"
And he really fell for it, went over to the counter asked for her, requested her to come away from the music and spoke to her for about a couple of minutes. It would have been a poetically happy ending, had the girl said yes to his request of coming out with him. But in this real world he came back extremely dejected and when severely probed by us on "What happened?", simply muttered "You all are sick bastards".
1 week back -
It's the eve of valentine's day and i'm a happy soul. My job is done, i have with me a decent valentine's day message and the person i gave this message to, is also happy about it!
I'm not sure if "Marriages are made in heaven!" but (thanks to you) i know that "Heaven is made by marriages!" especially with marriages like ours.
I tried a lot to get a nice poem for you - but that didn't really make me happy, I also tried many fancy quotes for you - but again that didn't please me and finally, i also tried writing few good things myself - but alas, that too didn't satisfy me..
And when i was disappointed at not having found anything, a simple plain thought came to my mind, it made me smile and really really happy - and the thought was, 'You are MINE!".
On this valentines i want to thank you for being "MINE"..
Now comes the twist - a beautiful female friend knocked on my chat window yesterday and asked me to write something for her about Valentines. And before i could have some fancy ideas, she made it amply clear that, it was supposed to be for her husband and the only reason i was being dragged into this is, she thinks i have a better choice in these things than her.
So, i plug in my earphones, with Tera Emosanal Atyachaar playing in it on a repeat mode, and get on with the task of writing something. This is what i could cook on the first attempt - and i've decided to leave it there.
1 day back -
It's 0900 in Singapore, 0630 in India. So, i'm very curious when my phone rings and AP's number is displayed as the caller. He's a dear friend who has got his H1B recently and is awaiting the opportunity to fly outside India.
"Hi AP, so early in the morning?"
"I havent slept whole night, could have called you even two hours back"
"Why?? everything alright?"
"I was asked by my company to fly out to US for an assignment"
"Great news man!"
"I declined the offer and have decided to quit IT"
"Why?? To do what??"
"I'm gonna study"
"Study for what? That bullshit MBA? Do you really think it's exclusive anymore? Everbody i know is doing an MBA these days, except for my parents."
"No i'm getting into civil services, to be an IAS officer"
"Ohh! so it's your college days dream back?? Get practical man, do you really think it's possible? So many responsibilities on you, studying at this age isn't gonna be as easy as it was in college days."
"I have worked out the logistics to some extent. Abhya, India is going to be a developed nation in 2020, there are so many ideas waiting to be implemented, so many things to be done. I want to be part of it. I want to be responsible for where our country goes from here. Besides... who'll pursue my dreams, if not me?"
2 hours back -
I'm just out of the movie hall after watching Delhi-6. What happened to the good old belief that you needed to have a good story and not a mere thought before making out a movie? You dont have to preach us everytime you make a movie Mr. Rakyesh Mehra. For a change give us something that can be measured only on the entertainment meter and not on a morality meter.
Flaws - less use of Rehman's music in the movie, childish ending, strong actors wasted in bits and pieces roles, less use of Sonam Kapoor and lastly, a plot trying to do too many things.
Strengths - Couple of brilliant sequences, music, Vijay Raaz, Sonam Kapoor and Abhishek Bachhan in few scenes.
Overall - 2/5
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
सकाळी लवकर उठायचय !! उद्या नक्की...
व्यायाम सूरु करायचाय !! उद्यापासून करु...
office मधे ताठ बसणं होत नाही, ते सुरू करायचंय !! उद्यापासून...
बुटकी असली तरी गोड आहे समोर बसणारी मुलगी, निदान ओळख तरी करून घेऊ !! उद्या office ला आल्या आल्या...
स्टेशन वरचा तो आंधळा काय सॉलिड गातो, गिटार पण मस्त वाजवतो. आपण रोज ऐकतो, १ $ टाकायला काय हरकत आहे? १ $ = ३१.५ Rs!! टाकू उद्या...
मॅनेजरला सांगणार आहे - ९ ला येऊन ६.३० ला निघणार म्हणजे निघणारच !! हे पण उद्याच...
डोक्याला काहीच व्यायाम नाही राहिला - आता रोज ३ कोडी सोडवायची !! उद्या शुअर...
चेस साठी मिळालेलं गोल्ड मेडल कुठे ठेवलंय, हे सुद्धा आता आठवत नाही. प्रॅक्टीस पून्हा सुरू करायचिये !! हो हो उद्यापासून...
प्रत्येक वाक्यात स्व:ताची स्तूती होईल असं लिहिणं बंद करायचंय !! बरं उद्यापासून बंद...
कपडे धुवायचेत, ईस्त्री करायचिये !! उद्या उद्या...
ठरवलेली प्रत्येक गोष्ट नेटास न्यायची आहे !! उद्या म्हटलं ना...
आज घाइत होतो म्हणुन !! उद्यापासून सिग्नल नाही मोडणार...
इगो बाळगणे बंद करायचंय, शेवटी त्रास आपल्यालाच होतो !! उद्यापासून अगदी समजूतदार...
चहा सूद्धा बंद !! उद्या केलाच समज...
आणि तो ब्लॉग, तोसूद्धा लिहायचा राहिलाय कधीचा !! उद्या नक्की लिहीणार...
शेवटी काय, तर -
आज करेसो कल कर, कल करेसो परसो...
ऐसी भी क्या जल्दी प्यारे, जब जिना है बरसो...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
सात-एक वर्षांपूर्वी मी शुक्रवार पेठेत 'आबा' नामक ग्रुहस्थांच्या बंगल्यावर cot basis वर रहात होतो. ह्या आबाचा सगळा गोतावळा होता निरेला. निरेहून त्याचा नातू अधुन मधुन हिशोब बघायला पुण्यात यायचा. त्याचं नाव टिनू, आम्ही त्याला टिन्या म्हणायचो. तसा होता गावाकडचा गावी पण पुण्यात आल्यावर जरा डॅशिंग रहायचा प्रयत्न करायचा आणि मुलींच्या बाबतीत जरा अभ्यासू वृत्तिचा होता. गावी शेती वगेरे चिक्कार होतीच म्हणून पैसा ही मुबलक असायचा. ह्या साहेबांचा रोजचा टाइमपास म्हणजे काय, तर Symbiosis college canteen मधे तळ ठोकून रहाणे. मग काय वाटलं काय, उगिच नाही मी त्याला डॅशिंग म्हणालो - च्यायला आम्ही पुण्यात शिकत होतो तरी कधी Fergusson College च्या पुढे घास जायचा नाही आमचा आणि हा पठ्ठा खेड्यातून यायचा आणि थेट Symbiosis!! संध्याकाळी घरी परतल्यावर साहेब मागिल बाजूस असलेल्या आमच्या खोलीत येऊन, पलंगावर आडवं होउन, डोक्याखाली दोन्ही हात घेउन, सिलिंग फॅन कडे एक टक नझर आणि संगीताची लय धरल्यागत मान हलवत उद्विग्न होउन मला म्हणालेला,
"आभ्या, गड्या ५ वर्ष बघ लईत लई!"
"ह्या तुमच्या पुण्यात मराठी पोरांना अजून ५ वर्षांनंतर एक बि पोरगी घावणार नाय बघ! आरं लेका मी बघतोय ना, पुण्या-मुंबई च्या मराठी पोरी त्या पंजाब्यांच्या मधाळ हिंदीवर मरतायत रं. अन् ती गूरं बी शायनिंग मारायचा एक चान्स सोडतील तर शप्पथ." इथे पॉज घेउन पुन्हा एकदा फॅन कडे नजर करून मान नकारार्थी हलवत म्हणाला,
"अशानं अवघड व्हइल रं ! आता टिन्यासारख्या गावाकडच्या गड्याने Symbiosis च्या मुली लव मॅरेजेस करतायेत म्हणून हळहळण्याची काहीच गरज नव्हती पण आमचा टिन्या अशा बाबतित हळवा होता खरा. तर टिन्याचं ते भाकित खरं ठरतं का काय अशी परिस्थिती आज निर्माण झाली आहे. असो.. इथे विषय तो नाहिये, विषय वेगळाच आहे. विषय आहे 'I love you cha'. तुम्ही म्हणाल कसा तर तो असा -
I love You! ह्या वाक्याचं महत्त्व मी काही वेगळं सांगायची गरज नाहिये. I suppose everyone of us has used it atleast once in our lives or shall use it in future. आणि जर का ह्या वाक्याचा वापर होणारच नसेल आयुष्यात तर मग त्यांच्यासाठी लिहून ठेवलेलंच आहे
'हाये कमबख्त तूने पी ही नही'.
तर लव मॅरेज ह्या प्रकरणातलं "I love you!" म्हणजे पहिलिच पायरी असते. तिथुनच सगळी सुरुवात होते. उत्तर या तर 'हो' असतं किंवा 'लाजून हासणे अन् हासून ते पहाणे' असं असतं किंवा मग 'नो' असतं या फिर कडक आवाजात 'घरचे हेच संस्कार का ?' असा तिखट प्रतिप्रश्न तरी असतो. (कृपया वाचकांनी येथे 'चॅलेंज' देउ नये,
लेखकाचा अनुभव दांडगा आहे) उत्तरावर आधारित मग पुढची प्रगती असते. त्या उलट अरेंज्ड मॅरेज मधलं "I love you!" तिथे 'नो' ची भीती नाही पण तरिही अततायीपणा नाही करता येत, उगाच समोरच्याला आपण 'डेस्परेट' वगेरे वाटणं 'रिस्की' आहे नाही का? शिवाय ते खरं सुद्धा वाटायला हवं, उगिच आपलं 'वाटलं म्हणून म्हणालो'
असं नाही चालणार ना. थोडक्यात काय तर, "It has to be timed to perfection". तर आता पुन्हा, माझा एक मित्र आहे, आम्ही त्याला बाप्पा म्हणतो. तर ह्या बाप्पाचं नुकतंच लग्न ठरलंय, अरेंज्ड ठरलंय (घ्या, अरेंज्ड ठरलंय म्हणे, म्हणजे 'ठरलेलं ठरलंय' असा अर्थ झाला त्याचा. असं असतं विंग्रुजी साळंतून शिकलं की - असो..) तर हा किस्सा आहे त्याच्या पहिल्या "I love you!" चा. हा पठ्ठा नोकरी परदेशात करतो, मध्यंतरी भारतात जाउन सुपारी उरकून आला. आल्यानंतर त्याच्या कडून ऐकलेली ही कहाणी -
माझी आणि तिची एकांतात अशी भेट झालिच नव्हती ना रे ह्या सगळ्या गडबडीत. पाहण्याचा कार्यक्रम गर्दीत, बैठकिचा कार्यक्रम गर्दीत आणि सुपारीचा तर अभूतपुर्व गर्दीत. त्यामुळे पुण्यात जेव्हा दोघांनिच भेटायचं ठरवलं तेव्हा जबरा 'एक्साईटमेंट' होती मनात. शनिवारी भेटायचं ठरलेलं, मी शुक्रवारीच पूणे गाठलेलं. तेव्हाच तिला डिनरला चल म्हणणार होतो पण म्हटलं साला डेस्परेट नको व्हायला. नाही म्हणायला मित्रांना पार्टी देणं बाकी होतंच, मग तो कार्यक्रम उरकला शुक्रवारी रात्री. झोपायला आपसूकच उशिर झाला आणि सकाळी लवकर भेटायचं ठरलेलं, त्यामुळे अर्धवट झोपेत उठून लाल डोळे घेउन गेलो मी. तिने एरवी नोटीस नसतं केलं पण आदल्या
रात्री पार्टी झाली आहे, हे कळाल्यावर, लाल डोळ्यांची सांगड तिने पार्टी बरोबर घातली आणि मला, "तुम्ही 'ड्रिंक्स्' नाही ना घेत?" असा प्रश्न केला. "घेत असतो तरी तुझ्यासाठी सोडली असती", हे उत्तर सुचलं मला पण ते रोमँटिक वाटेल का डेस्परेट हा कौल काही मनाने लवकर दिला नाही म्हणून आपल्या साध्या "नाही" वर भागवलं. मग तिथून तिला जरा शॉपिंग करायची होती ती करायला गेलो, दुपारचं जेवण झालं आणि मग पिक्चरला गेलो. थोडा इकडे तिकडे टाईमपास करून मग तिला सोडायला घरी गेलो. पार्किंग मधे गाडी लावुन मी सुध्दा तिच्याबरोबर वर जायला निघालो पण तिच्या चेहर्यावर टेन्शन दिसलं, मला साधारण अंदाज आला की रूमवर आत्ता कोणी नसेल.
मग उगिच तिला अडचणीत टाकण्यापेक्षा तिथुनंच बाय केला आणि निघालो. पहिली भेट तरी त्या मानाने छान गेली होती, त्या दिवसाचे सगळे टार्गेट्स सुध्दा सर केले होते. म्हणजे बेसिक आवडी-निवडी, गिफ्ट शॉपिंग आणि सगळ्यात महत्त्वाचं म्हणजे 'तुम्ही' वरून 'तू' वर आणणे हे सगळं आटोपलं होतं. रविवारी सुध्दा सगळं OK झालं -
वेळ छान गेला. मग पुन्हा एका आठवड्याचा गॅप आणि पुढच्या विकेण्ड ला पुन्हा भेट. तो शेवट्चाच विकेण्ड होता, सोमवारी रात्री माझी फ्लाईट होती. तसे त्या आठवड्यात फोन वगैरे चिक्कार झाले होते, त्यामुळे दोघेही "comfort zone" मधे होतो. त्यावेळी ती 'jeans' घालणार होती, त्यामुळे मनात एक आशेचा किरण घेउनच मी तिच्या अपार्टमेंट च्या खाली पोचलो. ५ मिन. मधे ती खाली आली. छान दिसते यार ती 'jeans' मधे खूप. तिची रूम-मेट सुध्दा आलेली खाली तिच्याबरोबर. प्रियाने आमची ओळख करुन दिली आणि मी लागलिच 'छान दिसत आहेस' म्हणालो. प्रिया मैत्रिणीसमोर अगदी लाजत वगैरे मला 'Thanks' म्हणाली. मला साला त्यावेळी टांग खेचायचा मोह काही आवरला नाही, म्हणून मी जरा गोंधळल्यासारखा चेहरा करून, "अरे हो... प्रिया तू सुध्दा छान दिसतेस" असं म्हणालो. हा हा हा... मी आणि तिची मैत्रिण जाम हसत सुटलो, प्रियाने मात्र अगदी मी ओरडेस्तोवर मला चिमटा काढला. नंतर बराच वेळ स्वारी गाडीवर सुध्दा तोंड फुगवून बसलेली. डेक्कनला 'ice-cream' खाताना कळी पुन्हा एकदा खुलली आणि मला एक गोड स्माईल दिली. तुला काल पाठवलेला फोटो तेव्हाच काढलाय. त्या संध्याकाळी उशिरा तिला सोडायला घरी गेलो, तेव्हा गाडी पार्क करतानाच तिला बोललो की, "मी वरती येतोय". She thought i was joking, अगदी फ्लॅटच्या दारापाशी पोचलो तेव्हा तिला लक्षात आले की i'm serious. चेहरा खाडकन पडला तिचा, नंतर मग वर वर हसत होती खरी पण आतमधे टेन्शन मधे होती.
"काय ग तू घाबरलियेस क??"
"छे! मी कशाला घाबरू? तू बाहेर थांब ना ५ मिनिट्स, मी खोली आवरुन घेते."
"It's ok, formal नको होवूस फार"
जाउन बसलो मी आतमधे.
"नको, काहितरी खायलाच बनव."
ती चमकलीच माझ्या उत्तराने. म्हणजे, एक तर बिचारी टेन्शन मधे होती, expect करत होती की मी २ मिनिट्स थांबेन आणि पळेन तिथून. पण माझा थांबण्याचा बेत पाहुन जरा गोंधळून बघत राहिली माझ्याकडे.
"आई तर सांगत होती की तुझी आई म्हणाली होती, पोरीला स्वंयपाकाची आवड आहे"
भानावर येत म्हणाली, "नाही तसं नाही, बनवते ना - सांग काय बनवू"
"लवकर बनेल आणि चांगलं बनेल असं काहीही चालेल"
"नाही नाही - एवढं सुध्दा लगेच बनायला नको. थोडातरी वेळ लागू दे ना. माझं काम तर व्हायला पाहिजे"
"कसलं काम??" दचकलीच ती.
"कळेलंच यथावकाश, खायला काय बनवणार ते सांग आधी"
तिने पुन्हा एकदा बंद दाराकडे पाहून घेतलं, तो जादूने उघडावा अशी प्रार्थना केली असावी बहुतेक.
"चालेल की व्वा!"
"हो मग, बास्स का"
"ठीक आहे, तू इथेच बस मी बनवते"
"नाही, मी पण kitchen मधे येतो ना. गप्पा मारत मारत बनव"
"नाही नको, तू इथेच थांब"
"थांब ना इथेच!" जवळपास विनवणीच केली तिने.
"अगं पण कसलं टेन्शन येतं ते तर सांग"
मग अगदी लाजत, आजिबात नजरेला नजर न देता, खाली बघून, गालातल्या गालात हसत म्हणाली-
"चुकेल काहितरी बनवायला, तू तिथे असलास तर!"
बास बेट्या बास, आपल्या मराठी पोरींची ही जी काही लाजण्यातली monopoly आहे ना - तिची तुलना होउच शकत नाही कशाशी - खलास झालो बघ मी तिथेच, घायाळ का काय म्हणतात ना, तसं झालं बघ माझं
"अगं तू कशीही बनव, कच्चा साबुदाणा दिलास ना, तरी खाइन आवडीने"
"आहाहा!! म्हणे कच्चा साबुदाणा दे. एवढी काय वाईट नाही बनवत मी"
म्हणजे आधी लाजणं आणि नंतर हा लटका राग - it was a deadly combination, i tell you.
शेवटी बनली एकदाची खिचडी आणि खाल्ली मी ती.
"तू अशीच आहेस की गं"
"खिचडी सारखी - कधी लाजणं, कधी घाबरणं, कधी रागावणं, कधी चिडवणं. सगळं मिक्स्ड"
"हो का?? कसल्या साबुदाण्याची - कच्च्या का पक्क्या??" ती पण जराशा मूड मध्ये येत म्हणाली.
मी तिच्या जवळ सरकलो, हात हातात घेतला आणि म्हणालो,
"Doesn't matter - You know what - I'm truly and madly in Love with you."
आता असा हा इजहार केला मी माझ्या प्रेमाचा, तर तिने खुश व्हावं किंवा लाजावं!! का नाही? पण तिचा चेहराच पडला, आधी हातातला हात सोडवला तिने, मग पुन्हा एकदा बंद दरवाजा कडे नजर टाकली आणि म्हणाली, "निघायचं का आपण आता?"
माझा चेहरा काही फारसा पाहण्यासारखा नाहिये पण त्याक्षणी मात्र तो पाहण्याजोगा झाला असणार ह्याची खात्री आहे मला. नाही म्हणजे, आजवर बरेच "I love you" केले मी आणि त्यात बर्याच वेळा उत्तरादाखल "Get out" ही ऐकलंय मी पण इथे मला कधी नव्हे ती "Me too" ची खात्री होती, तर इथे ही तेच. "भरवश्याच्या म्हशीला टोणगा" म्हणतात तो असा, फरक फक्त एवढाच राहिला की आजवर मी "Get out" ऐकलं आणि ह्या वेळी "Let's Get out" ऐकलं. चला!! हे ही नसे थोडके... हा सुध्दा एक अनुभवच म्हणायचा...
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
The boy's joy knew no bounds once his dad sent 160/- Rs to the boy's elder cousin who studied in Pune and asked him to get 2 tickets for the match. His parents warned him against revealing the news to anyone in the vicinity. But boys will be boys; while cycling home after the Math's tuition at Purandare Madam's house, the boy just couldn't keep the joy to himself. Being Monday, it was a pani-puri day. The boy had paid last week, so it was his friend, Chinmay's turn to pay this week. They ordered for 1 plate pani-puri.
"Paani pura bhar ke dena bhaiyya, aur ek teekhi fir ek meethi aisa dena" came the instruction as it came every week. The bhaiya nodded knowingly and obliged. After finishing the first plate, staring at the rest of the crowd who had come out of the tuition and were walking back home, the boy offered to Chinmay.
"How about one more plate? I'll pay."
"Why? What about next monday then?"
"Next monday, i'll go to Pune after school. Won't be coming to tution as well."
"I cannot tell you, it's a secret"
"Is it your family secret??"
"No - about me."
"Then you have to tell me, even i told you my secret last month. I never told it to anyone else."
"Mine is not a secret as such, everyone will know of it once it is done. I'll make sure that everyone knows of it"
"Then?? why cant i know it now"
"My parents said not to tell"
"You are lying now, u already said it's not family secret"
"Alright, i'll tell you but swear first that you will not tell anyone"
"Ok... God promise, mother promise"
"No, Say it complete that you'll not tell anyone"
"God promise, mother promise I'll not tell anyone"
"I'm going to the match next Tuesday in Pune"
"Nooo... You are lying now."
"I swear it, God Promise! I'm going to the match"
"Great yaar, with whom??"
"My father, he has already called my brother and asked him to get tickets"
"Is it costly??"
"We are taking the cheapest ones, 160/- for two"
"Even i'll ask my parents but they will never agree, I know"
"My parents are giving this as a birthday gift, i wont be getting anything else"
That night and every night after that, the boy slept wondering, if he would get a real chance to see his hero closely. He had always cherished the dream of seeing his superstar, real life superman, in body and flesh. He knew, what he was going to dream tonight, it was the same dream that he had seen over and over again and again, of watching the master score a century for him. He sometimes feared that his hero might falter on Tuesday but prayed with all his conscience that it would not happen so.
D day arrived soon. The boy and his father had secured their seats in the stadium, not seats really, Cement steps which were covered with a pandol like structure. They could watch the match only from a certain distance. Getting close to the fence involved lots of effort, right from fending off the competition of co-spectators to watch the stars closely, to risking a lathi charge from the patrolling policemen for having broken the rules. But today the boy had made a decision of pushing his luck as far as possible. He kept on searching for his hero, it was just a matter of when now, as the teams were preparing to come out. The moment arrived soon - the boy saw HIM, amidst the hurdle of his teammates, drinking juice from a bottle with throat glugging gulps. Excitedly, he pointed him out to his father. His father wasn't actually a cricket fan. Nevertheless, he too was extremely contented on having seen so much joy and satisfaction on his son's face.
He prayed with all his heart that his hero fielded somewhere close to where the boy was sitting. It was a long long wait before Sachin Tendulkar was asked to field along the square leg boundary in the 44th over. As soon as he reached the position, the boy joined the crowd of hundreds of people who ran towards the fence to take a closer look. After pushing and shoving hard, the 14 year old made it to the frontline of the crowd. He let out a loud shout of "Sachin", so did many others with him. The boy again let out a cry of "Sachin" and again many others followed suit. The same continued for some time, it was on the 8th occasion of collective shouting that Sachin turned towards the crowd and gave them a smile and a small nod of the head. And in that nod, for one infinitesimally small second the boy had Sachin looking to him eye to eye. That mili-second of eye-contact made all the efforts of the boy worth the moment. All the fatigue that he had had from shouting, pushing and standing in the sun simply disappeared in thin air. It was in that very second that he told Sachin to play well for him today and he took Sachin's nod as an yes - Nakki!!
He came back to his dad saying - "Sachin, will play well today! For sure!"
Later in the day when India batted Sachin crafted a well made 79 off 86 balls. And the boy watched the performance as if it was his own private screening. He was very contented with the feeling that Sachin lived upto his promise and made a promise to himself to be on Sachin's side and support him - may what come !!
And today, when I see Sachin being beaten on two consecutive deliveries by Bret Lee's pace and look upto my roommate who's glued to the TV screen and say "Aaj kahi khara nahi Sachin cha" - he just turns to me looks me in my eyes and says "Nahi re, he will play well - Nakki!!"
Sachin seems to have taken his cue and hits a spanking square cut and i end up saying "yeah Nakki!"
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Whatever, coming back to the point - By now it's an established fact or rather an accepted ritual of my 3 year old IT life; whenever i dont have much to do, in other words daily, i plan to go thru my project documents, study more of java, tutor myself in PL-SQL. I always start with these noble intentions but then I start getting hallucinations of a large "blue e" dancing in front my eyes. It just keeps on growing in size, if i still dont take action, it even attacks me from the sides. Now, i can see an ever growing blue e in front of my eyes as well i can see two more e's, one thru right corner of my eye and another thru the left corner, all approaching me and growing on me. This is the point where it starts getting on my nerves, i can see it that they have bloodshed on their mind if i dont bow. They are multiplying like Agent Smith from Matrix. It's a mismatch; they are growing in numbers as well size and i'm alone, with no weapon in hand, except for the mouse. Before it drives me crazy i usually take the way out, I click on show desktop icon and then double click on the blue "e", waiting there for me with a triumphant glint in it's eyes. The IE browser opens, i key in
It's only then, that the attackers decide to retreat with a look on their face that tells me "Better luck next time", I hope you dont end up saying that at the end of this blog :-P Thus, i open cricinfo.com this time around and start keeping track of the 3rd test match between India-Australia. For a change, India have their nose ahead in this one. I've already logged in google talk but it's only 9.30 in singapore, meaning 7.00 am in India and none of my friends are to be seen online so soon. Well, US is awake though and like all Indians i too happen to know someone who cherishes the American dream. I ping RJ with some hope - but no response from him. Maybe he's busy cooking, not food though, that would be very unlike RJ - he expertises in cooking people, giving them scenarios to think about and then making them feel mediocre when he comes up with the final revealation.
5 mins later...
sorry, was away... u thr??
AB: yep - waitin for u, whr were u?
RJ: india's playing well - it seems...
AB: the umpire's are being fair, that's making the difference...
AB: new status message? "LIFE EEZ HARD"?
RJ: i took it from that mentos ad - "bride trying to run away from the train and a worker feels it's an accident, so he pulls her back in the train and then the cartoon says - "Thankyou toh bolo ji!!" :-P
AB: i know, funny ad... but what's that line doing here??
RJ: Abey, this new punjabi chick Archana was slated to come in my team. For last whole month, we have been speculating about her, all expectations touching sky high. we also had a pact amongst us that we wont straightaway start talking dirty abt her... u see everyone is in the "shaadi ka umar" zone... so we all wanted to try our luck first.
cut to today - in comes this chick(??) only 39 years of age... all plump - my guess is 70 kg++ :-(
SIGH... - "LIFE EEZ HARD"
AB: chyayla POPAT... my condolences!! :-P
RJ: u say - how's your break-off coming??
AB: okie-dokie... learning to live with it... know what - break off helps!!
AB: no - i mean it... break off helps in losing weight, both of your hips and your mind ;-)
RJ: Ohho - looks like u r out of it :-)
Abey tell me one thing - does gmail have eyes??
AB: I've read that they sniff your mails so as to post appropriate ads when you open it.
RJ: no no - i mean it has real eyes...
RJ: how else could you explain the innumerous spam mails that i get, asking me to increase the size of my pe*is??
how did they know of it?? it certainly must have eyes ;-)
AB: hehehe - i once actually clicked on one of the links they provide in such mails
just out of curiosity ok!! - dont misunderstand ;-)
RJ: sod na - zakli muth sawwa lakhachi ;-)
RJ: ok here's a question for you -
you have one thing that too in large quantity, it's valuable - very valuable
AB: are u still on the earlier topic?? one valuable thing, large quantity (size) :-P
RJ: No - serious... scenario...
As mentioned earlier, he has this habit of giving scenarios and asking your opinions on this or that. And at the end of it all, you are left to eat your own words. But then i didn't have much to do either.
AB: ohh - sorry go on...
RJ: ok - so u have this thing, very valuable, in large quantity, you are selling it every day, you have got good reserves too and u r getting rich day by day... u r getting so rich that u can get everything u want and some things u couldn't have ever imagined of...
AB: wait lemme think - what wud i want?? u mean i can get back my lost-love as well?? :0
RJ: abey - think big man think big. u cud get anything ranging from a ferrari to katrina!!
hey now that we are on the topic - tell me?? during this break off and all, did suicide occur to you as an option?
AB: not really - suicide and sacrifice is so old fashioned yaar - never heard of it since late 80's.
Even bollywood gave it up post Kamal hassan (ek duje ke liye) or maybe amir khan (qsqt)... never heard of it since then...
haan but i did consider murder for some time...
RJ: cool, what stopped you?
AB: that trend is also over now - the last sensible(??) person to kill on-screen for love was shahrukh (dar, anjaam)
never heard of that one either since early 90's, so eventually dropped it...
RJ: ok - i understand... :-P
AB: back to the scenario - since u said Katrina, i wanna hear more :-D
RJ: yeah! u r getting so rich that u can get everything u want and some things u couldn't have ever imagined of...
NOW here's the question - will u stop selling that thing or try to control what quantity u sell....or u will keep on increasing the quantity.....will u be conservative at this point???
AB: is that "thing" of yours getting scarce??
RJ: not quite - u know u can find more, u have sufficient...
AB: then i wont stop probably; but might start donation, charity and all; Bill-wa style ;-)
RJ: F**k u!!
think as an economist...
dont think from ur heart; there is HUGE demand for that thing. Let me put it this way -
will u want to be more rich at that moment or be sufficiently rich for a longer time period?? coz u dont know how much of that thing you have but for sure, you can find some more now...
AB: i shall keep selling...
I know all this sounds too odd/crazy. But knowing RJ, certainly something interesting is in store ahead. So i usually play along and become his bunny.
RJ: OK - another twist
RJ: others need it badly and they want u to sell more and more, they might even lure u by paying more.
in future might pressurize u too... now what will u do??
AB: is it legal?? or something like drugs/immoral??
RJ: it's legal; see consider this - u are stinkily rich currently, do u want to be more greedy or do u want to be conservative and let the other person get a bit angry?
AB: as of now my answer is - i will go for more money...
RJ: try this - u have 100 girls, all beautiful. now, will u want 150??
AB: NO - i'm not a greedy person, i'll manage with 100 girls only :-P. But, money and girls is different boss...
RJ: i know, i'm just telling you the lifestyle b'coz of that money.
all right - round 1 is over - now move ahead into the shoes of the other person...
one who's buying it, you need it desperately. Infact many like you need it. You are strong and you need it to be more strong. It's a vicious circle - the more you get the more you need it. If the supply reduces, you go mad. It's like drugs but not drugs.
AB: why dont u ask me the real question straightaway instead of this analogy??
RJ: naah - u answer me... i want to know what others think...
What the F**k?? I'm dead sure, this guy belongs to that species, which is more into foreplay than actual sex. I mean why beat around the bush, come to the point straight away. But no, he'll be the last one to do so and alas! i'll be the last one to give up on this chat :-(
AB: fine - go ahead..
RJ: how will you try to convince the first person to sell more? u are currently thinking that - does he have more or is he just not selling more?? bol na plz - just this one...
AB: Ok, if i'm really desperate; i'll try convincing him emotionally - how and why i need it.
RJ: he doesn't agree - then?
AB: then maybe i'll revolt against him (u said i'm also very strong rite??)
RJ: use of force??
RJ: ok - thanks.. i can make it more complicated but your day is just beginning - i dont want to be the cause of ur foul mood :-P
AB: and i dont want to be the cause of your death - so better go ahead :-D
RJ: ok - here i go..
uptil now we had 2 persons - 1. who owns that thing - very rich, 2. who needs that thing - very powerful and rich... and now i introduce the 3rd - one of many many more who use that thing - ordinary, simple, not powerful
just that u haven't been using it too much - not too addicted but surely you are fascinated. u know it'll make your life easy - also u r aware of whole issue between 1 and 2...
Will u be conservative, thinking that it's your moral responsibility to use less of that thing or will u instead say - others are using...i dont give a damn - now think it's you
AB: ok try this -
1. take a piece of cloth, dip it in cold water.
2. lie down, put the the wet cloth on your forehead and close your eyes.
3. if this doesn't help, try counting in reverse order from 100 to 1.
Mind you, all this while your eyes should be closed. The goal here is, to put you to sleep before your case goes
out of hands.
RJ: :-) bol na - take ur personality characteristics into consideration..
AB: well - i would go down on the usage, will try to control.
RJ: see - u r just one of those millions consuming, u have other worries apart from that?? ur family's life will be easy. maybe ur girlfriend likes something which needs "that thing" we are talking about. It's integral to ur life..
AB: still i wud try to go down on consumption. first myself and then bring down family's needs.
RJ: will u get jealous if ur friend has that thing for his girlfriend which needs the IMP thing we are talking about?
AB: NO! might try to make girlfriend see all the problems and convince her not to expect it.
RJ: Ok now here's the REAL question -
Will u buy a CAR in ur future??
Car is one of those things which will make ur GF happy...family happy!!
RJ: I'm talking about oil
Person 1 - Saudi Arabia
Person 2 - America
Person 3 - Ordinary man from India - YOU
So, tell me - will you buy a car, which runs on petrol??
Bull shit!! I should have seen it coming. This is what always happens. I eventually end up with my foot in my mouth. All this while i was telling him that I wont buy a car??? Naay-No-Never... Time to eat all my words.
AB: BURP!! (dhekar)
AB: I just ate all my words, so my stomach is full :-)
RJ: :-) Means you'll buy it - rite?? dont worry it's normal, even i'll do the same.
AB: why this topic all of a sudden??
RJ: I read about Nano being launched. was wondering that India's dependency on oil will go very high. The car is indeed good but i'm skeptical about it's effect on India. Parking, roads, environment, oil etc etc
What's your take on nano??
AB: The name says it NA-NO :-)
I once had a dream - i'm at a signal in Pune, there is traffic all around. No one is moving an inch, no place to move at all, everyone is stuck. A JAM in real sense. I guess, NANO will make my dream come true :-)
RJ: Hope all your dreams (excluding this one) come true.
Enough is enough - I cannot write anything further. Whoever reaches till here, please forgive me for having written this blog. Shall think twice before i write anything else ever again. PROMISE
You can go ahead and murder me in the comments section for this but please remember this might be your only chance to play GOD - after all, To err is Human but to forgive is Divine.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Where is it?? Let me check at the top – Not there, maybe it’s at the bottom – not there, then sideways maybe – Shit, not even there… Where the hell is it? I already checked the front and the back, not there as well. Where did it go? It has to be here. Alright alright, no need to panic, concentrate and search harder this time. Step by step – Left, right, top, bottom, back, front – huh!! Not there. What the hell, how can it NOT be there?? It has to be there, it just cannot disappear like this when I need it. It was certainly there when I saw this thing last time. Now… wait a while!! Was it actually there when I saw this thing last time or I just assumed it to be there? I guess I always assumed it to be there and thought that I could comfortably use it whenever I needed to. And here I am, I need it today and it’s not there. Damn me… Now what??
No no friend, hold your horses. I’m not giving up in this game. I shall put up a fight as I always do.
Alright alright, no need to panic; I know what I need to do now… I need to search for the other one, exactly opposite to this one. Yes, that should do it. Perfect, now concentrate and search again – Step by step - Left, right, top, bottom, back, front – Not there… What the F**k. How’s this possible? Even the other one is not there… Don’t tell me that this thing is made without either one of the two. This bloody remote control of life does not have the two most crucial keys – rewind and forward. Then how am I supposed to go back and correct my mistakes?? Forget that, how am I supposed to go ahead and check if I come out of this successfully?? What?????? Don’t tell me that you expect me to play this game without these options. Hello – Are you crazy?? This is too crucial a game to be played without the Rewind and Forward keys. Ah… Why didn’t you tell it to me in the beginning then, I could have been more careful? This thing sucks. Why did you give me the remote then? What purpose does it serve? Oh I see – I do see it now. This bloody thing has only one option that of quitting isn’t it? Yeah, that explains the sole dirty RED button. So, what’s in it for me if I quit?? Wow great! Nothing in it for me; apart from the relief that it’s over, right?? Is this some kind of a joke??
TICK TICK TICK
What's the sound?? Don’t just stand there and laugh, tell me what's the sound?? Is time running away?? Is that what you are telling me that time isn't even stopping for this conversation?? It's just running away, is it??
Fine, doesn't look like i have many options left. If quitting is what will take me out of this – quitting is what I shall do!! You can take pride in your well deserved victory.
I hope I can at least sit down and have a word with you before pressing the RED key, O Mighty Winner. Surely, you won’t mind that. Now c'mon you've already won, you've beaten me black and blue. What harm can a small chat do??
This certainly isn't your first win, is it??
So, i guessed it right.
Can i ask you something - is it true when they say - "Time heals everything"??
You won't answer that one, will you??
Ok! Up to you - you can selectively answer my kiddish questions.
Is it true that – We tend to remember only the good things of the past? And that is the reason why we feel nostalgic. I mean, I may not have been happy in the past and would have craved for it to end but today when I think of it, only the good memories come back and that's why, I feel nostalgic. Is this true??
My mom taught me to forgive others for their mistakes; doesn’t it mean that I’m entitled to forgive myself as well, for my own mistakes??
On a second thought, is there any such thing as mistake?? Aren’t mistakes the same actions that we once thought were right and hence committed them??
I had this professor in my college, taught us Electrical Technology, a man of principals I must tell you. Was pretty strict and always to the point, an absolutely no-nonsense kind of a person. We all hated him just after few lectures at the start of the term and every time he entered the class-room it would turn into a fish market. There would be chaos all around and shouting and screaming going on. We would do it to register our protest against him. Initially we screamed for complete 50 minutes, the whole duration of the class, and never allowed him to speak a word. As time passed by, the duration of our screaming also came down, some got tired, some bored while some felt pity towards him. But all this never seemed to bother him. He would wait for us to settle down and then would go on with his stuff as if nothing ever happened. Then came a day when he entered the class and the class was in complete silence, no one protested on that day; the first words coming out of his mouth were “I’m missing it”.
Still, none of us spoke.
He then turned to the black board – and wrote
“IF YOU CANNOT AVOID IT, ENJOY IT!!”
Turning back to us, he then said “Can you do it again, for me this time??” We all screamed at the top of our voices. Once we were done he said “I hope we won’t need it again in this class room”.
Believe me that was the only class which I missed in the next term.
Is that what I should do with my pains, sufferings and all other things which I cannot avoid?? Just plainly enjoy it and when the moment of freedom comes, celebrate it!!
I once read somewhere – “After crossing the river, the raft becomes a hindrance if still carried.” Isn’t the same true about bad memories from the past?? Those memories are indeed strong just like all evil things under this sun but carrying them beyond a certain point is unnatural, unacceptable and impossible.
TICK TICK TICK…
Stop it!! That doesn’t scare me anymore. Hahahahahaha
Don’t you get it dude?? Time works in my favour. It’s MY weapon and not yours.
And that must be exactly the reason why this thing neither has a Forward key nor a Rewind one because this remote is your weapon and not mine. Here, take it.
COOL… I’m getting the rules now… They all make sense… Yeah, they do…
What??? Quitting??? Naah – I’m not quitting. I’ve had a change of hearts J
Well, maybe I said so earlier but now I don’t feel like quitting.
I always tell everyone that I’m a good liar but they feel I’m lying when I say this. J You’re just one more of them. Hahahahaha
Forget quitting, I just made my move; it’s your turn now.
TICK TICK TICK…